Drowning

Imagine this. You are swimming in the middle of the ocean. You aren't sure how you got there, that's just where you woke up. You can't see anything or anyone else. All you can feel is the weight of the world on your arms and legs. You're finding it so hard to swim so you lay idle trying to catch your breath and get some rest. After a few minutes you decide to start swimming again. It's so hard to swim and you start to struggle. You are slowly going under and coming back up. You go back under and this time get a mouthful of water. Thankfully, you come back up and cough it out. Your arms and legs aren't working together to successfully swim and you go under yet again. You are drowning. Panic sets in and you start wailing your arms and it only makes it worse...

Now, imagine this. 

Imagine every minute of everyday it feels like you are drowning. Imagine waking up coughing and struggling to breathe. Imagine that no matter how much oxygen you have attached to your nose that it feels like you can't get a good breath in. Imagine you are drowning. 

This is what I feel like everyday. No amount of oxygen or breathing treatments or exercise make it better. Everyday that I wake up I automatically feel like I am in the middle of an ocean, drowning, with nothing to save me. The smallest movements can make me feel so short of breath. I need oxygen with every step I take. Sometimes things get so bad that I literally scream for help while gasping because I don't know what else to do, there's nothing I can do about the feeling. 

The only thing I can do now is push forward. I smile and know that one day I will get my lungs! -Katie