For You, Dalton

I made this a few weeks ago. Tonight has been a hard night for me. I miss Dalton so so much. Hope you like my video. And just in case youtube takes the song out for copyright then it is supposed to have Heaven by Bryan Adams playing in the background. I hope you enjoy. Let me know what you think ❤️


Click here  to watch my video

-Katie

Life

Everyone says that the best times of your life are your 20's. I've had the worst experience in regards to being in my late teens and early 20's. This year I'm gonna be 25. Omg that makes me sick to think about! I mean in one way I'm glad I made it this far but in another, I don't even feel like I have made it this far. I have zero quality of life, literally. And although I've never admitted this, I'm going to now. I'm jealous. I'm jealous of the people my age who can go out and have fun. I'm jealous that I am 24 and have nothing to show for it. Where is my life going? I have nothing. I do nothing. I am happy that other people get to do fun things but at the same time I hate it. I want to have fun. I want to live my life. I don't want to lay in this bed anymore. I don't want my independence taken away because I need help taking care of myself. I'm tired of spending my life hooked to a pole. I hate it. I hate every single minute of it. I'm a strong believer that your life is what you make of it. I try to stay positive, especially on the outside but on the inside I can feel depressed more than anything and anyone.

I don't have a lot of visitors (I think 3 since I've been home and 1 that will be coming this week if I get rid of this cold I have) or invites to do anything. But those of you that do visit, it means the world to me and I thank you so so very much. I'm not depressed but I just needed somewhere to let my steam out. I don't know what my future holds. I just don't know. And honestly, whatever you do, please don't message me saying that I need to stay positive or be stronger or any of that. I'm fine. I just wanted to get my head cleared. -Katie
Just very annoyed tonight. 

One Month!

It's already been a whole entire month!!! Happy Lung Transplantiversary to you Dalton! I'm still so happy for you since the moment I knew you had gotten the call! Of course it's been a rough month but  despite all of the hurdles you have had to jump, you have come out on top everytime, with a smile. Keep fighting through the pain, keep going strong! You are already amazing in my eyes. I can't wait until I get my transplant so we can be together again.
I want to say THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart to the family of the donor that Dalton received his lungs from. What a beautiful gift. So, wherever you are, thank you. Because of organ donation and the act of kindness, my husband is still here. I know the holidays are going to be hard for you. It's only been a month since your loved one passed away. We are praying for you and have prayed for you all everyday since Nov. 16, (when Dalton actually received the call but received his transplant on the 17th).
I meant to write a longer post but this is all I got at 4 am. Thank you God for blessing my husband with such an amazing gift and please keep your arms wrapper around his donor family. God Bless!
-Katie

Katie Update

Update on Katie (me): I am being discharged from the hospital on Saturday. My mom is coming up tomorrow and then we will be let loose on Saturday around noon. They are stopping all antibiotics and are just going to let me go home for a few days. My goal is to be able to stay home for a week. I'm not being discharged because I'm healthy, I'm being discharged because there's just nothing more they can do here medically to make any improvements on my health status. I'm on a lot more oxygen and get tired really easy so I won't be going out of my house very much, but at least I will be at HOME. Dalton's mom and grandma are here being his caregivers since I am not allowed to be around him, so no worries there. 

Another thing is that I am having insurance problems right now. As of this moment, I'm not on the transplant list. I have exhausted my first insurance and now am waiting, waiting, waiting for my second insurance to make up their minds. There are a lot of people working on it. There is even a lawyer working on my case in Chicago, which I thought was pretty cool!! I rarely do this, but please pray I can get back on the list soon. I really need these lungs. I want a second chance. I want to grow old with my sweet husband. I want to do so many more things. Like I always say, "I'm not praying for someone to die, I'm praying that when God takes them, they will have chose to be an organ donor". Thank you all for your love and prayers. You will never know how much they mean to Dalton and myself. -Katie

#PrayersforthePragers

Bronch

Dalton had his bronch yesterday. We should have some preliminary results today. Please pray that there is no infection and no rejection. -Katie

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Angel Baby

As some of you may know, a tragedy rattled Dalton's side of the family, my side of the family and friends from near and far. In April 2012, Dalton's mom had a baby who tragically and suddenly passed away after 8 days on this earth. She was beautiful, definitely an angel on earth. She blessed each of us in so many ways in her short time of being here and taught a lot of us lessons about life, like not to hold grudges and to just be nice to one another. No matter what.
Since her passing, I have looked at her picture everyday. Her picture stays in my wallet and I manage to take a glance each time it opens. I even got a tattoo of an S in tribute to her (along with her brothers).
Going through a lung transplant isn't easy. I'm not going to sugar coat it at all. First off, actually being sick enough to go through the transplant is a journey on it's own, but then there are so many tests that have to be performed to decide whether they want to list you. And I will tell you, the answer isn't always yes. In those cases, you are sent home to live the rest of your life in comfort whether it be days, weeks, maybe months. In other cases you may be sent to another facility to see if they will accept you and put you on their list. When that's all done, the waiting game begins...
I started this blog talking about my baby angel sister-in-law Samantha. You're probably wondering how all of it ties together. Tonight as I was about to lay my head down on my pillow (after a long, tiring, sick day) I raised up my pillowcase. There was a piece of fuzz on my sheet. This piece of fuzz wasn't just any piece of fuzz, it was very important. It was a sign from Samantha, telling me that she's taking care of Dalton and I. The fuzz was in the shape of a butterfly. It wasn't like I had to squint hard like you do sometimes to see images in the clouds. It was just right there. A butterfly piece of fuzz.
What a nice way to end my day. Thank you my sweet sister. You are forever in my heart. I love and miss you so very very much.
-Katie
#PrayersforthePragers